Shift in thinking...

This is my shift in thinking today....


I've decided that I'm just not going to invest energy into the people and things that bring me down. There's nothing I can do about them anyway, except I can choose how I feel about them, and whether or not to give them any thought, or only positive thoughts for that matter. Today was a very unusual day for me. Unusual in the fact that usually when I have a major stressful event happen the night before I am so angry! There were a few moments of anger today, but mostly thoughtfulness, calm, and peace. It's a weird place to be in, I kind of like it actually. It beats being mad. It allowed me to communicate my feelings and points of view with objectiveness and honesty. I've decide that I am better to spend my time cherishing my AMAZING husband who has, and will always stand beside me, NO MATTER WHAT!  That is something I've never had before, and the kids have a father who is never letting them go!  And if that was the only good I had in my life, it would be enough...


Today was filled with so many tender mercies. And I am so grateful! Grateful for them and the ability to recognize them. I am a music girl, music speaks to me and it has an huge influence on me. My best friend (J) always says to me when I leave her house and I'm upset: "don't listen to angry music on the way home". She knows.... As I left work today my mom called and asked if I could come over and help her real quick. So I did, I talked to her about the previous nights events and how I was feeling about it. My mom always has good advice, well I don't know that I would call it advice, maybe direction is a better way of saying it. She said "have you read your blessing lately?" I said "no" and she suggested I read it. As I got into my car I selected my "inspirational" play list for the ride home. It's not one I normally choose, especially for he commute home. Usually it's hip hop, rap, hard rock, punk, and pop music. Just the stuff to breed enough road rage to get me home in one piece. :0)  Have you ever heard of random openings? Well it's when you randomly open the scriptures and read. I do it sometimes and almost always read something that I really need. Well, I had a random "listening" today. As my ipod began to play the first song I was transported into another realm. I felt so peaceful.... as this song repeated over and over that Because He Lives everything is going to be alright! It doesn't matter what happens in this life, it doesn't matter that I don't feel adequate, it doesn't matter that I don't have the answer for everything...... it is going to be okay. And I have to say that's the first time in almost 3 years that I've felt that way. I finally was able to remember and spiritually connect with the eternal truth that Because He Lives, I will live too, through anything! And that I'm never, never, never, alone...... I am grateful for music that speaks eternal truths to my heart when my head is so boggled up that I forget them.


It was great to come home and be happy, happy to see my babies and my adoring husband. To not have that angry contention that usually comes home with me. It felt good! I want to feel like that every day! I think the inspirational  play list might be the new commute norm. 


I am so grateful for wise, loving, faithful, parents and friends who always help guide me in the right direction. I would be lost without them. They help me find myself when I've lost me.


I've been feeling a lot lately like I'm suppose to be doing something..... something different than I'm doing now. I don't know what it is, I just know this feeling, and that it should be explored. At night I lay in bed and look at my hands and the words "have I done any good in the world today" go through my mind. And today I came to the conclusion that even if the only thing I did was love and take care of the people I love, and teach them the things they need to know and be a good example, then I've done my job. And that's good enough for today. Not everyday is going to be a super hero kind of day, and I know that, and I'm okay with it. 


Yes miracles do happen! 


Love to all ~ A